Chapter 43 After The Campout - from my book Changes

Chapter 43

After the campout

When we got back to my parents house (where we were staying in Oregon when not on the property we purchased) the children and I settled in for the evening and my husband decided to find a place in town where he could get some work done on his computer, so he left.  The children and I went to bed in a back bedroom when it got late.

At about 2am my husband returned to my parents house and came to the back bedroom.  Standing in the doorway he gently asked, “Shelly (his nickname for me), do you love me?”

I quietly answered, “Yes, but it’s hard.”

Then he started yelling at me because I had not been listening to him.  He told me we were done.  He was going back to the hotel where he had rented a room, where he had been working on his computer.  He told me he was going to go back to Florida because I obviously didn’t want to be with him anymore.  When my husband uses the word listen,  he actually means obey.

He started to walk away and I thought, I will try once to stop him.  I said, “Wait …”

Then he turned around and started yelling at me again.  He said he was leaving.  He said we were done.  He said to have the kids call him in the morning.  Then he left.

I let him go.

——

Something I knew … I knew if I stopped running after him, trying to cater to him, that he would get angry and blow up.  I was right.

I had planned on having a safe place to be when that happened, and I was.

I was shaking.  But I was in a comfortable bed, at my parent’s house, with my kids, and I reminded myself that I knew this would happen, and to just go to sleep.

After some deep breaths I was able to sleep, knowing that I was stepping into the unknown.

About an hour later, my husband was back, standing in the doorway of the back bedroom, crying.  He said, “You didn’t come after me.  You didn’t have the kids call me.”

I said, “You told me you were leaving.  You told me we were done.   You said to have the kids call you in the morning.”

Then he started yelling at me again.

I don’t remember what he said, but I interrupted him and said, “You can’t yell at me any more.”

He looked shocked.  Then he started yelling again.

I said, “Stop!  You can’t yell at me any more.  You said we were done.”

Then he stopped yelling and tried talking to me.  I don’t remember what he said.

I told him I was tired and I just wanted to go to sleep, and we could talk in the morning.

He crawled into bed next to me and started holding me.  He said, “Someone is trying to take you away from me.”  And he held me like he was protecting me from some unseen force.

I was very surprised at his change of attitude, but I just wanted to sleep.   I felt like I had shut down and needed rest.  He kept guard.  We would talk in the morning.