"Explore to Your Core"

In a focusing exercise at Trackerschool I asked myself, with love, non judgement, and understanding, “How am I feeling?”

     I surrendered to nothingness and the first feeling that emerged was “I’m fine”.

     I said to myself, “No really, how am I feeling?”  I surrendered to the answer and the first feeling that came up was anger.

     I asked myself, “Why?” And surrendered to the answer.  The answer came, and with gratitude, love, and non judgement, I said to myself, “That’s good to know.”

     After a moment, I set that feeling aside and asked myself, “Aside from that, how am I feeling?” and surrendered to the answer.

     I felt afraid.  When I asked why, the answer came to me.  I then set that feeling aside in the same loving way, and continued on.

     The next feeling was excitement, then joy, then emotional pain, then angry again, then excited wonder, then nothing, then love, then …

     The deeper I explored through the layers that made up the over all feeling I was having that day, the more difficult it was to stay on task.  I would forget what I was doing and have to pull myself back to the exercise.  It was difficult going that deep.  In my core, I found out who I really am, and it overwhelmed me in a good way.

     Explore the layers of feelings within you, especially when confused.  Reconnect with the real you hidden under all your feelings.